Back in New York. Feeling oh so right. I swear to god I breathed in the Newark New Jersey air and my serotonin sky rocketed (no one has ever said such a nice thing about New Jersey).
It’s been three months of living in LA and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever get used to sitting in my car for at least 2/24 hours in the day. That’s 1/12! Which is kind of a lot when compounded over an entire lifetime. It’s been said time and time again but there is something so special about the energy of the east coast, specifically New York. I think the essential difference between here and la is in New York, you are rewarded for individuality. Almost to a fault. Everyone is trying to out-weird another. And there is no time to think about how you are perceived because in that split second you are looking at someone else you will probably be hit by a biker. I feel so present, looking high and low for the next fun thing that is - literally - right around the corner. In a single night I was pulled into a woman’s gallery opening after lighting her cigarette with matches, dancing at a birthday party in Manhattan to then be invited to a 2am concert in bushwick where we were asked to dress up like nuns so we could sneak in. Polish it off with a 4am bacon egg and cheese (hold the bacon) and you’ve got yourself a great night.
LA, I’ve found, is very idealistic. Everyone is constantly trying to bridge the gap between who they are and who they want to be. It can be inspiring for sure - manifest ‼️ But it also can be exhausting not only trying to figure who you are but also trying to figure out who other people think you are. I wish I had a more fuck it attitude but as someone who needs everyone to like her, I think I might combust.
But, whenever I get overwhelmed I remind myself why I’m there - not to get a glimpse of some Euphoria extra sipping a negroni in the back corner of Tenants, but to finish my music. I have been working so hard trying to make all of the music and visuals feel like me (aka awesome) and I know when the songs come out it will have been worth all the blood sweat and literal tears. Maybe I even have a special supriseeeeeee for you soon.
hmmmmmmm
Also shoutout of the week for Anna, Ava, Bear, Chris, Jess, Zoe, and everyone else who drew a little house for the neighborhood. You guys are the cutest best neighborhood I could ask for.
Ily a milly,
Grace
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